and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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