i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize