He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
