I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize