My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
