Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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