office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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