We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
