I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize