if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.