I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
