Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
