I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm like, not good at living.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
