Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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