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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Dude she let me cum on her face

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

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• (818): View more from California

  Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.

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• (524): View more from

  I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (903): View more from Texas

  You're a waste of cheezeits

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one

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• (949): View more from California

  We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.

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• (510): View more from California

  No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.

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