no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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