New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
