Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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