YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I showed him my bush... on skype.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
