I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
