I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
