If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
