I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
