I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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