Its about making memories worth repressing
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
