So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
