TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
