well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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