Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Randomize
