the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
