So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
