i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
