According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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