just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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