What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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