the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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