that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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