my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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