she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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