I met the friendliest cop last night
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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