Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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