his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize