There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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