....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
