That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think I am morally bankrupt
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
