Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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