She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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