what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
