what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
