Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
