Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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