I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
