Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
