I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
