You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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