Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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