sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
