we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
