I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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