he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
