dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Randomize