the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
