I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
