Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
