You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
