What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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