matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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